What I want for Christmas: a satellite, a force field, peace…

Someone asked what I want for Christmas, so here’s a list:

• My own spy satellite.
• A force field around my bicycle to repel motor vehicles. (Two if you can swing it. One for me and one for Mrs. Smith.)
• Peace on Earth.
• A massive worldwide reduction in greenhouse gas emissions by the end of 2020.
• A non-criminal POTUS.
• Everyone to know the difference between tenet and tenant.
• An end to the senseless arguments about Harvard commas, which we all know are just regular commas that are often used when they’re unnecessary.

Please be sure to reply to all so everyone knows what you’re getting me. I don’t want two satellites and no Peace on Earth.

Write on,

B.J.